


why would I look at the stars when you're right there, love?

by Kensneezma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kenma is also whipped for Kuroo, Kuroo is so whipped for kenma, Like very minor, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Character Death, One Big Happy Family, Sad and Happy, Volleyball Dorks in Love, therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kensneezma/pseuds/Kensneezma
Summary: The world has never given someone all the good cards. Some argue that they are all bad, and maybe that is true. Kuroo Tetsurou didn’t have the easiest life and it came with a lot of fear and anxiety but he likes to believe that despite all that he went through, there is one person the world blessed him with.orA small journey through Kuroo and Kenma's life in which they deal with the hard stuff but love each other so unconditionally they would do it all again.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	why would I look at the stars when you're right there, love?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time posting on Archive so I hope you like it! This took me roughly 3 hours so if there are any mistakes I am sorry (by the end I was seeing a picture of a tree in the words).

The world has never given someone all the good cards. Some argue that they are all bad, and maybe that is true. Kuroo Tetsurou didn’t have the easiest life and it came with a lot of fear and anxiety but he likes to believe that despite that, there is one thing, one _person_ the world blessed him with.

When Kuroo Testurou was seven his dad stumbled his way to the front door and got in his car. His mother smiled and assured him that it was nothing, daddy was just being silly. He was too young to notice the wrinkles that started forming on her face or understand why the cops dropped his father off later that night. 

Looking back on it, Kuroo is confident that he had a pretty decent childhood. His mom was always there for him and his dad was at least relevant in his life to some extent. He read until midnight when he was eight years old without his mom knowing, caught bugs, scraped his knees playing volleyball at the playground, and saw his best friend at least once a week.

Kenma came into his life suddenly with his game in hand and his intelligent catlike eyes observing every move he made and understanding him right away. Their friends don’t believe that Kuroo was more shy then Kenma when they were younger, Kuroo is cocky and silly now but Kenma still sees glimpses of the scared little boy he grew up with. He saw it in his eyes when he sprained his ankle climbing a tree when they were eight. He saw it when their senpai were tormenting him so much he wanted to quit volleyball. Kenma especially saw it as they got older and their friends started experimenting with alcohol.

Kuroo was nine years old when he went to climb in his dad's bed after having a nightmare, he searched for his dad until he found him passed out in their front yard. When he finally got his dad upright to put him to bed his father stumbled behind him and up the stairs but tripped on the last stair and fell down hard. He laughed it off of course, daddy just lost his balance after all. In his drunken state he failed to notice young Kuroo sitting in the corner crying because he was so scared. _He’d never seen his dad like this. Why is he acting like this?_ He couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head. Kuroo spent a lot more time at the Kozume household after that. It was only after Kuroo asked Kozume Kazuo if there was a way to erase memories of his drunk dad that Kenma’s father sat the little boy down and explained that his father had a disease. His father was sick and couldn’t control how much alcohol he drank, he needed it to function and get through the day. Kuroo decided right then that he would never drink alcohol.

When Kuroo was fourteen he sobbed into his best friend's shoulder after his dad went into rehab the first time. Kenma comforted the confused boy as well as he was able, but how does one comfort a person whose parent suddenly disappeared? They continued this cycle until Kuroo’s second year of high school when his dad drank his last beer ever and went into rehab for the third and final time. By this point in his life, Kuroo lived full time with Kenma and his parents. They decided it was best because Kuroo’s mom travelled too much and was happy to leave him under the protection of his best friends' kind and caring parents. Kuroo was much happier at the Kozume’s than he ever was at his dads.

Kenma suspects that his feelings for the other were solidified during that time. He always felt the pull of their bond. From the moment he stepped into his life he had loved Kuroo with everything he had. It started with small glances when he thought the other wasn’t watching and Kenma obsessing over tiny pats on the back Kuroo would give him during games. Then he started noticing the other things too, how they revolved around each other. Things such as how Kuroo always looked for him in a busy room to block off his vision so he didn’t get overwhelmed, things such as how Kenma would hold Kuroo’s hand when Kuroo heard a loud noise that reminded him a little too much of the past. Soon after he quietly took Kuroo aside and admitted his feelings towards the other. Kuroo who knew him like the back of his hand just smiled

“Okay” he said quietly and put his calloused hand on his cheek and looked at him with so much _love_ he nearly melted. It was so _them_. No one would ever question the love they held for each other. They never made a show out of telling people except for their closest friends. They kept their relationship between them feeling that the world didn’t need to see their tender kisses and small smiles to know that they adored each other.

They graduated high school and university together and never faltered. They bought their first apartment together and worked their asses off so they could live comfortably without too many fears of the future. They saw each other so effortlessly and never questioned their devotion to the other. They went on their little adventures with each other and powered through their darkest times.

It was a year after they officially moved in together that Kuroo started seeing a therapist. It took him a long time to be able to address his issues but Kenma watched his progress as time went on and quietly smiled to himself when he noticed the other trying something new. Kenma walked beside him every step of the way, never judging him and Kuroo loved him more than he could say.

Kuroo was twenty-nine when he called Akaashi and asked him what a good starter alcohol would be. Akaashi delivered an expensive white wine to their dining room table later that day no questions asked before leaving Kuroo so he had room to think.

Kenma opened the door to their apartment and locked the door behind him before setting his keys down in a bowl they kept by the door. He slid his shoes off and hung up his winter coat silently. When he rounded the corner he was surprised to see Kuroo staring at a bottle of alcohol sitting on their table. Kenma silently contemplates the situation, they never had alcohol in their house (a liberty taken to ensure Kuroo never felt uncomfortable in their shared home) and he didn’t want to push him. He watched the man at the table silently staring at the bottle for a moment, his expression completely unreadable.

“What are you going to do with it?” Kenma asks, no judgement in his voice. He walks around and puts his arms around Kuroo’s shoulders and kisses his cheek as a greeting. Kuroo gently brings one of his hands up to rub one of Kenma’s.

“Try it, I think,” he replies subdued. Kenma hums in response but doesn’t make an attempt to move. They both stare at the bottle a while longer before either of them speaks again.

“I’ve never had any either” Kenma is the first one to speak “I saw the way it affected you and never wanted to try it” he admits.

“You could've,” Kuroo says quietly, turning to face Kenma as he shrugs silently. Kenma slowly moves to sit in the others lap and puts his head on his chest before answering with absolute certainty. 

“Not if it was going to hurt you,” he states as if he was telling someone the color of the sky “I never saw the appeal anyway”. Kuroo gently rocks them back and forth in the chair and gives him a soft kiss on his forehead which is infused with so much love. He tears up at how much affection Kuroo is able to put into one gesture. Kenma silently thanks the gods for giving him such a kind and loving man.

Kuroo’s birthday comes and goes with a small party attended by their closest friends. Their friends stay for a while before leaving around two in the morning, Bokuto wishes Kuroo luck in his old age as he goes to leave which causes to latter to laugh and combat it with a rant about ageism and the fact that the former is, in fact, older than him. Kenma smiles at their playful interaction and although he would deny it passionately if someone overheard him say it, he is glad Kuroo and him have this family (even the loud rambunctious Bokuto). 

After the festivities conclude, Kuroo and Kenma take the time to decompress before they decide to open the wine that was given to them the previous day. They each get a glass and take a sip. Kenma scrunches up his nose at the taste and promptly dumps the rest of the disgusting liquid down the sink, while Kuroo, who only took a small amount, takes the time to finish his glass and puts the bottle away. Later when they get in bed Kuroo admits that he didn’t hate the flavor like he thought he would and that scared him. They schedule an emergency appointment with his therapist the next day. They’re both aware that as long as he is careful it was okay to have a drink every once in a while but Kuroo still had his deep rooted anxieties about becoming his dad and if there was one thing he would never sacrifice it was Kenma.

Things got easier as time went on. Kuroo switched jobs and loved every second of it, they got a cat named Masumi, and moved into a nicer apartment. Along the way they gained friends and added to their small family (Kuroo still considers the members of Nekoma his children thank you very much), and Kenma never tried to drink again maintaining that it tasted disgusting and he would never understand why people like it. He quietly watches Kuroo become more comfortable with drinking and they slowly stopped having to schedule emergency sessions with his therapist. He never, ever, got drunk though. They kept alcohol in their apartment for special occasions or the rare occasion that Kuroo wants it and they never had problems with it. They never had problems with it until Kenma got a call.

He was sitting on the couch playing the newest game on his handheld when he heard his phone start to buzz indicating a call. He contemplates letting it ring to finish his game but pauses it. He walks over to the table and sees Kuroo’s contact photo on the screen. He answers it and immediately tenses when he hears a small sniffle from the other end.

“What happened?” he says quietly as calmly as he could muster. The one thing he would never know how to handle is Kuroo crying, he hates seeing him in so much _pain_. He is always reminded of the times he would show up at his parents house after his father got wasted causing him to punch walls or break something. Every time Kuroo would show up like that Kenma would always wonder if this was the time Kuroo was the one who was hit. He never wants to see the love of his life like that again. He snaps out of his thoughts when Kuroo starts to speak

“My mom-” his voice cracks slightly which only causes Kenma to worry more “s-she uh, her-, s-she had a heart a-attack. She… They c-couldn’t resuscitate her” he says letting out a soft sob. Kenma takes a moment to process the information. He always liked Kuroo Hayami, besides her travelling she was always kind to her son and made sure he had everything he needed. She always loved her son unconditionally and supported him even when he wanted to stay with his dad after his many failed rehab attempts.

“Come home Kuro,” he says quietly, letting the nickname slip. He moves to the bedroom to pick up clothes that are on the floor and starts to tidy up a little wanting to make sure Kuroo feels comfortable at home.

“O-okay” he says watery “I just ha-have to talk to my boss” he sniffles and Kenma hears him moving on the other line before he starts to talk again “C-can you get rid of the wine in the fridge” he says softly, Kenma notes how shamefully Kuroo says this, as if he did something wrong and furrows his brow upset that Kuroo felt guilty about something like this.

“Of course” he moves towards the kitchen “I’ll be waiting for you at the door” he says with as much love and comfort as he can muster in the moment.

“I’ll see you soon Kitten” he says quietly before hanging up. Kenma gets the half empty bottle of wine out of the fridge and puts water on for tea. He goes to the back of the building to dispose of the alcohol before going back upstairs. He quietly makes the tea for them and sets it on the coffee table and waits for Kuroo at the door.

After a few minutes Kuroo unlocks the door and slowly removes his shoes and puts his keys in the bowl before turning to Kenma. His eyes are read and puffy and his hair a mess from running his hands through it. Kenma reaches up to put his arms over his shoulders in a tight embrace. Kuroo wraps his arms around the smaller boy and sobs quietly letting out all his pain and sorrow. He feels like a part of him has been torn out and he’ll never get it back. They silently move to the sofa and Kenma hands him the tea he made and he sips it silently. They stay like that for a while before Kuroo curls into Kenma's arms and falls asleep.

When they wake up the next morning Kenma makes the other breakfast and makes sure he drinks water throughout the day. A couple days later they go to his mother's funeral to say their final goodbyes, Kenma watches as Kuroo quietly says something only meant for him and Hayami before lowering her casket into the ground.Their friends quietly come up to consul Kuroo, some of them bring food while others bring hugs and comforting words. Kuroo appreciates both sentiments very much. It isn’t until Kuroo goes back to work a week later that Kenma lets himself cry.

****

Six months after his mom's passing Kuroo and Kenma stand in a park near their building looking at the stars. Kenma gasps in amazement at the meteors shooting across the sky, Kuroo watches the other, not daring to look away for one second.

“I’ve never gotten tired of that smile” he says affectionately and Kenma snapps his head to look at him warmth lining his cheeks.

“Where did that come from?” he questions, looking at the other with a brow quirked. Kenma marvels at how open Kuroo’s eyes are in this moment, he feels as if Kuroo is pouring every ounce of love he holds for the other into one gaze. It is almost overwhelming. Kuroo just shrugs nonchalantly before turning his whole body to look at the other.

“Remember the day you confessed to me?” he says softly reminiscing about the quiet day behind the gym after volleyball practice “that was the happiest day of my life.” 

Kenma smiles at the memory, he never felt nervous, Kenma knew even then that this was the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with. He was never uncertain about his decision to confess.

“Kozume Kenma, I have said this before but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Kuroo says softly almost whispering “I have thanked the gods more times than I can count that they sent you to me. You have seen me through every decision I have made and never faltered with your love even when you disagreed with it. Even when the outcome was bad you stood by my side and held my hand through it.”

Kenma gasps when he sees Kuroo reach into his pocket and he feels his hands shake slightly.

“No one can ever love someone more than I love you” he says pulling out a tiny black box before dropping down on one knee “I would literally follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to. So, Kenma, the love of my existence, will you marry me?” he says flipping the top up to present a simple gold band.

Speechless, Kenma shakes his head vehemently before adding a breathless yes. Kuroo stands up smiling his stunning bright smile and slips the ring onto Kenma’s ring finger before bringing him into a sweet kiss. They rest their foreheads against each other smiling softly, completely in love.

“I figured it was my turn to confess to you,” he says, causing Kenma to let out a breathy laugh before bringing him into another soft kiss.

  
  


_-Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry if the formatting is weird, I've never uploaded a work on here. I'm really proud of this so please comment and tell me what you think! I know it might seem a little rushed at times but it is 100% purposeful.


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